WTF is Going On Here?

It's your own dumb fault you're here. You were warned.

Excerpts of Genius

Given my fetish for heavy-set women

And that I heard someone shout, "Meaty whore!"

You can imagine my disappointment

To look up at that streaking meteor.

His muscles are flexed and oiled.

His Speedo is tight and small,

Which looks great for a contest,

But not at the shopping mall.

As superhero traits go

Mine is least impressive of all,

But if you need a keg drained

I’m the crusader to call.

A nose-picker knows

That a picked nose blows

With tremendous freedom and ease.

But an over-picked nose

Where membranes decompose

May be a bloody mess when you sneeze.

My bombastic flatulent emission,

Which disrupted Geology class,

Was not the answer the teacher sought

When he asked about volcanic ash.